Dating for Demons Read online

  “Consider it done,” I assured him, massaging his temples.

  “Excellent. Now that that’s settled …” He pulled me down across his lap and kissed me soundly. “So tell me about this vampire attack,” he murmured against my neck, trailing kisses everywhere he could reach.

  I sighed blissfully until he nipped me, drawing blood. “Hey, you’re not horny, you’re just hungry!” I accused him, struggling to sit up. He was going for double duty.

  “Can’t I be both?” he asked, all innocent.

  “When did dinner and romance become the same thing, anyway?” I pouted.

  He continued to nuzzle my neck and murmured, “When you emancipated half-blood vampires and were ordained by an ancient Prophesy to be the one who would bring about the end of the world as we know it. It kind of upped my workload.”

  I pulled away and glared at him. “So this is my fault?”

  Thomas looked confused. “When did this discussion become about fault? Or blaming anyone? I just wanted to spend some quality time with my girlfriend, doing what vampire couples do. Vampires feed, Colby.”

  “Yes, I know vampires feed, Thomas. I do it myself on occasion.” I squirmed out of his lap, annoyed he was blaming me for his busy schedule and double-duty antics.

  “How did this turn into a fight?” he asked, mystified by my anger. He was such a guy.

  “We’re not fighting, we’re talking about my most recent attack,” I assured him woodenly.

  He ground his teeth in frustration. “Fine, tell me about this attack.”

  “No. I don’t want to now.”

  Thomas groaned, rubbing his eyes as though to clear his head. “You’re impossible. You know that?”

  “Funny, I thought I was a Happy Meal.” I stood over him, hands on hips.

  “I’m going back to bed. This is obviously a bad dream.” Thomas pulled himself wearily out of the chair and headed toward the upstairs rooms.

  “Just where do you think you’re going?” I demanded.

  “To find another Happy Meal,” he retorted sarcastically.

  “Oh, ha-ha,” I muttered once he left the room.

  Why did he make me so crazy? The poor guy was just tired! Did I really have to make such a big deal over the love nip? The truth of the matter was Thomas hadn’t been acting like himself for the last month. He was always tired, never seeming to relax. He was so busy at work, I couldn’t begin to guess why he agreed to let New York borrow Carl. We had rogue vampire activity here, so why send one of our best Vampire Investigators away? I had tried to talk him out of it but he insisted it was the right thing to do.

  Instead of following Thomas upstairs to apologize, I went downstairs to see what was going on. Most of the girls were watching television in the rec room when I plopped down on the carpet and leaned against the ottoman.

  I sneezed violently. Once. Then again. “Okay, who snuck a cat in here?” I demanded.

  Sophie looked guilty at once. Next to me, she had the world’s worse poker face. She was Ileana’s human maid and she loved stray animals.

  “Soph-ie. You know I’m allergic. No cats in Psi Phi House. That’s a rule. Now where is it?” I felt like the Grinch when she scurried over to the sleeping dorm and opened the door. Sure enough, a scraggly calico emerged, meowing a pitiful hello.

  It was one ugly cat. Which could mean only one thing. It belonged to Mrs. Murphy. Every neighborhood had one of those cat ladies and ours was no exception. About a block over was a lady who was a hundred and three if she was a day, and her house was filled with cats. And they were never cute. They all seemed to suffer from mange.

  “You need to take it back to Mrs. Murphy,” I said, ignoring the look on Sophie’s face. She picked up the cat and it was hard to say who looked more forlorn, the calico or Sophie.

  “I can’t take it back. That crazy ol’ lady accused me of stealing her cats. Said she was going to call the police on me next time.”

  Sophie came straight from Ileana’s English estate and possessed the sweetest British accent. She was tough to refuse.

  “She wouldn’t think you were stealing her cats if you stopped feeding the strays that wander away from there. That’s why she thinks you’re a catnapper.”

  Sophie hung her head in shame, cuddling the filthy cat, which purred in response.

  “So not gonna work on me,” I declared firmly. I wasn’t falling for the poor English waif and her widdle, biddy kitty act. She let out a big sigh and held out the cat to me.

  “Dude, I’m not gonna take it. I can’t. Allergies, remember?” As though to prove a point, I let out a huge sneeze. You would think being Undead would cure me of allergies but no; if anything, it made them worse.

  Sage chose just that moment to step into the basement living room. She took one look at the scene before her and tried to sneak back up the stairs.

  “Sage, perfect timing,” I called to her in a falsetto voice.

  “You want me to take Fluffy back to Mrs. Murphy’s house?” she accurately guessed.

  “You know its name?” I asked, surprised.

  “She calls all her cats Fluffy.”

  Of course, in a weird way, that made total sense. She was blind as a bat and it would be much easier to call them for dinner if they had the same name.

  “If you wouldn’t mind …”

  “Yeah okay.” She approached Sophie and took her kitty burden. “Phew, this cat needs a bath.” Sage wrinkled her nose.

  The cat, as if understanding Sage’s statement, started to squirm in her arms.

  “Relax, Fluffy, you’re safe with me. I’m just the delivery girl, not the cat laundress.” They trudged upstairs.

  I turned to Sophie. “Really, no more cats. I know it’s hard for you being so far from home and all, but I just can’t do cats.”

  “What about a different pet? Just a little one,” she rushed to reassure me. “I’d take care of it and it wouldn’t be any trouble at all. I promise.”

  I gave in. “If you keep it in your room and Ileana agrees, then it’s fine by me. But you’ll be in charge of taking care of it and stuff.”

  “Oh, thank you, miss.” Sophie gave me a spontaneous hug and bounded up the stairs. Presumably to garner Ileana’s support. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about any more cats in the house. There was certainly an upside to such a decision.

  Four

  PIPER

  I’d promised Carl I would see him before he took off so I headed in that direction when I left Psi Phi House. But I was in a mood. I spent my free time going to self-defense class and researching Undead issues all because my best friend was a self-centered cheerleader turned vampire and the only thing that changed about her during the attack was her breathing status. She was so full of herself sometimes, it drove me nuts. I tried to shake off the mood when I got to Carl’s apartment.

  “I have something for you,” he said to me after I arrived. I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

  I swear, he almost blushed. It was fun teasing Carl. He was Thomas’s best friend and a dedicated Vampire Investigator. He could be so serious at times, but he also had a very dry sense of humor. He was a mixed bag.

  “Ha, very funny. What I have for you is a window of opportunity. And get your mind out of the gutter, it’s not that kind of opportunity. You Breathers are all alike. Just one thing on your minds.”

  “You big tease.” I pouted. “And don’t call me a Breather. You know how I hate that,” I added, only slightly serious. Yeah, I hated the term “Breather” since it was considered an insult by the vampire community, but Carl always used it as more of an endearment.

  He ignored me and continued, “I have for you a gift of such magnitude, you will be forever in my debt.” He rubbed his hands together like a villain in the old movies.

  “You’re loaning me your apartment while you’re in New York?” I perked up at the idea of using his bachelor pad as my own while he was doing a transfer assignment on the
East Coast.

  “I said I had a gift, not that I was delusional,” he replied dryly, effectively dampening my enthusiasm.

  I plopped down on the bar stool. “Oh, fine. What is it, then?”

  He walked around the bar and pulled a manila envelope out of the drawer. He slid it across the counter toward me.

  “Giving me my walking papers? Did you have them notarized?”

  “Just open it, smart-ass.”

  I tore the envelope open with my short thumbnail, quickly checking the black polish for chips before dumping the envelope’s contents onto the counter.

  A key, a swipe card and a folded piece of paper.

  “Gee, however will I be able to repay you?” I said woodenly, not understanding his gift.

  He picked up the key. “This opens the basement door to the vampire archives.” He showed me the slide card. “This opens the front door after hours and this”—he waved the paper in my direction—“is the Tribunal Security schedule for a special delivery.”

  I looked at him blankly.

  He sighed in exasperation. “If you look at the schedule, you will notice that the library will be unoccupied for two hours. No one, living or otherwise, will be in the library during that time. There is a new display I think you will find very interesting.” He looked at me meaningfully.

  “Oh!” I sat up straighter, finally catching his meaning. Carl was giving me access to the ancient scripts in the library without Colby or any other vampire knowing about it.

  I grabbed the paper from him and looked over the schedule carefully. “Won’t you get in trouble for this?”

  “Only if you’re caught. You can manage to do this without getting caught, can’t you?” He made a threatening gesture to grab the paper out of my hand.

  “Of course I can do this without getting caught. Sheesh, what poor faith you have in my abilities.” My stomach knotted up at the thought of breaking into a vampire library. Colby was the brave one. I was sort of the sarcastic sidekick. Heavy on wit, light on actual daring.

  My face must have relayed my fears because he seemed to waver. “Piper, you don’t have to do this. I know you want to help Colby with this whole Prophesy thing but there is no need for you to, uh, take any unnecessary risks.”

  I threw him a disgusted look. “I won’t be taking any risks if your schedule is right. It is right, isn’t it?”

  It was his turn to look disgusted. “Of course it’s right. You don’t think I would put you in danger, do you?”

  “I don’t know.” I pretended to contemplate his question. “I mean, you could get rid of a Breather …”

  He laughed at me. “True, there is that. But then I’m leaving anyway, so I get rid of you either way, don’t I?”

  I instantly sobered. “So you’re leaving soon then?”

  “Yep, tomorrow.”

  “Do you really have to go? You’re needed here.” It was the closest thing to a confession I was going to make. Carl was, well, Carl. Tall, dark, handsome and Undead. Not boyfriend material but he was a great Vampire Investigator, and after our run-in with those stinky vampires, I didn’t want one of the best headed to New York City.

  “Surely they have Investigators there.” I didn’t like the way my voice took on a whiny quality, almost like I was pleading.

  Carl walked around the bar and took both my hands in his. As always, I was surprised by how cool he was to touch. I used to wonder if things would be different between us if we were both living. Not that it mattered. He was Undead and I wasn’t and things weren’t going to change. Still, I cared about Carl and wanted him to be happy. Ever since Thomas found Colby, there was a restlessness in Carl. Much like the restlessness that invaded me at odd moments. A sort of discontent that I just wasn’t willing to analyze further. I didn’t need someone to make me complete. Did I?

  Still, having someone to go out with, to call and be with didn’t sound like such a bad deal either. Like what Colby and Thomas had. I couldn’t believe I was envying Colby. I mean, even dead the girl managed to still have it all.

  “You and Psi Phi House are going to be fine, Piper. New York needs help. I wouldn’t be going if it weren’t an emergency. Rogue vampire activity is at an all-time high. There’s something in the air,” he added cryptically.

  “Yeah, I know and a lot of it’s still here in Seattle.” I tugged my hands out of his and jumped off the bar stool. “It’s like you don’t even care.”

  “I don’t care? You think I’m leaving because I don’t care?” His mood changed abruptly and he threw up his hands in frustration. “Between you and Thomas I can’t seem to win.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that I’m a Vampire Investigator. It’s not just a job, it’s who I am. I swore an oath to protect all vampires and that includes half-bloods now, as well. New York has a desperate need for Investigators. I have to go. It’s my job. Thomas understands that. Sure, I had reservations about leaving but he made me see the light. He can handle things here. I have to go where I am needed. And right now, that’s NYC.”

  “Wait a minute. Thomas wants you to go?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did Thomas really think everything was so safe and secure here that he was going to send one of his best Vampire Investigators away?

  “He said they needed me and that’s why I’m going. I trust his judgment, Piper. You should too. Anyway, Thomas will be here and he has the entire Tribunal Security at his beck and call. Colby can take care of herself, and she’s got your back too.”

  I nodded, but doubt filled me. Why would Thomas send Carl away? Didn’t he think these attacks were something to be concerned about? Colby said Thomas wasn’t getting enough sleep and was plagued by bad dreams—maybe it was affecting his judgment? No, I was being ridiculous. I just didn’t want Carl to go away. He was one of the few people who “got” me.

  I stepped toward Carl and wrapped my arms around his torso. At first he stood still; then slowly, he awkwardly put his arms around me, as if afraid I would break with the least amount of pressure, and we stood embracing in the middle of his apartment. He smelled wonderful, clean and rugged at the same time.

  Carl was dear to me, though we could never be more than friends. He held a special place in my heart.

  “You be safe,” I whispered into his chest.

  He stroked my hair and I felt his lips brush the top of my head. “Everything’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”

  “I hope you’re right,” I murmured. I was afraid things were going to get worse. Much worse.

  Five

  COLBY

  Entering the offices of the Vampire Tribunal was much like entering any law office in downtown Seattle. They enjoyed sprawling views of the Sound, were located on the upper levels of the Columbia Tower and felt stuffy and respectable. No one would suspect that they housed the most powerful vampire leaders in the Clan.

  Margaret Durham was seated at the reception desk, like always. Neatly put together in a St. John knit pantsuit, hair swept up and tidily clipped to her head, she gave the impression of prestigious gatekeeper to the influential men seated behind the doors. And she hated me. A lot.

  “Hello, Margaret,” I greeted her.

  She didn’t even bother to look up from her computer monitor. “Go away, he’s busy.”

  This was our relationship in a nutshell.

  “Come on, Margaret. He actually asked to see me. I’m not just dropping by unannounced.” Which was kind of the truth. Mr. Holloway said I could come by anytime I had a problem. And today, well, I had a problem.

  “He’s in a meeting,” she replied, not even pretending to check his schedule.

  I made a loud groaning noise as I advanced to the glass fortress she called a desk.

  “Please,” I whined.

  “No,” she said, but her lips held a ghost of a smile. She loved it when I begged. She was a full-blood vampire bigot and I was trying to be nice. It was killing me.

  “Fine, I’ll just hang o
ut here with you and catch up on all the Undead gossip.”

  She continued to type away at her computer, ignoring me. Yeah, like I could be ignored for long.

  “No news? Okay, well I have a ton of stuff to share. Did you know PSU has a sorcery degree program? Yeah, I know. I had no idea either. So the girls are calling PSU Para-Super U. Get it? Instead of Puget Sound University they are nicknaming it Paranormal Supernatural University and shortening the name to Para-Super U. How funny is that? Oh, and that Sophie keeps collecting cats and as you know, I’m terribly allergic to—”

  She slammed her hands on her keyboard.

  “Fine, you win. Go see him. Just leave me alone.” She buzzed to let me through.

  “Thanks, Margaret!” I maneuvered through the reception hall to Mr. Holloway’s door. I was an expert on not being ignored. Ask my mom. Whenever she was busy with house listings and I needed something, she’d learned to stop what she was doing and help me. I could be that annoying. Call it a gift.

  I rapped on the heavy mahogany door, and then turned the knob.

  “Mr. Holloway?”

  He was seated at a large, impressive desk, going through paperwork. I kind of felt sorry for vampires now. Once they were primal beings, feeding and battling for supremacy, and now they were a bunch of bureaucrats, sifting through red tape and making laws to ensure their existence. It was no secret that the older a vampire got, the crazier they were likely to become. They got paranoid, reclusive and untrusting. Only the vampires with lifelong companions, friends or lovers seemed to keep it together.

  “Colby, my dear. What brings you to me?”

  That was a favorable start. He was usually so busy with vampire business I rarely got more than a moment of his time.

  “I was hoping you had a minute. I have some interesting news that I’d like your take on.”

  “I hope it’s more pressing than the renaming of PSU to Para-Super U or your cat allergies.” He offered me a chair.

  “How did you … ?”

  “Vampire hearing, Colby.” He tapped his ear.

  “Ah, well, sorry about that.” I was a bit embarrassed being caught acting like such an obnoxious brat by the boss man.